I appeared here and there, lingering and disappearing, trying not to get kicked out of the arena. I had memorized the entire map of the place, and even managed to get the backstage mazes memorized. I ducked into closets and rooms, laughing at myself, but feeling adventurous. A belt was one thing, but an autograph and a maybe a pic? Priceless. Hey! I must`ve been close to something for someone to yell like that. I widened my stride, and kicked into my past track and field training. I outran the men easily, and ducked through a doorway, closing the door behind me and heaving a sigh of relief. A chill of excitement went through me as I took in my surroundings. I was backstage! Tech crew and a few wrestlers walked by, not noticing me, figuring I was part of everything. I wanted to stop them, but I couldn`t. I had a mission, here. I walked quickly, and found the DeGeneration X locker room first. My son had a fan letter for them. I went into the dressing room and carefully took the folded sheet from my cargo pocket, planting it in the bag in which I recognized the Kid`s gear. I took a deep breath, backing a step and opening the door. Now, it was my turn. My heart started beating really fast. I felt a little sick. I couldn`t believe I was doing this! I ran a few steps, but slowed my pace…blend in, girl, I reminded myself. Okay...I took a deep breath, mentally regrouping. I finally saw what I was looking for: John Cena`s dressing room. A tremor went through me, truthfully I felt sick. But damned if I didn`t go. I put my hand on the door and pushed in. Empty. Why was I relieved? With some struggle, I pulled another letter and a box out of my other cargo pocket. Sheez, I`m too old for this, I thought as opened the bag and put them inside. But you only live once, right? What the— I turned and froze like a deer in headlights, my dark eyes widening at the sight of John Cena. He was in the usual t-shirt and jeans, looking rugged...God, I do love rugged guys, I thought. He smiled, but his eyes were a different story. How the hell you`d get in here? Look, I`ll leave, okay? Now he was even more amused. You went through a lot to get in here, I know that. Yeah, and I`m done, okay? Done? He gave that lopsided smile that always melted my insides on TV. He took a step forward. I swallowed hard. Yeah— Suddenly, security appeared. Everything okay? Yeah, I lost my party back here, though, I said quickly. To my surprise, John nodded in agreement. Well, we`re clearing the building. The guard gave a curt nod, and looked at John. Almost everybody`s gone. Okay, John nodded. I watched the man leave. Where are you goin'? he asked, grabbing my arm. I looked down at his hand and up at him. Look, I took a deep breath, trying to stop trembling. I took my hand back, and sighed. I always wanted to meet the man, but not the image, okay? I can see that on TV. He frowned at that. I—I`m not like that...like them. Boy, that didn't come out with right. I gave an exasperated breath and raced out, leaning against the wall around the corner. The feelings that hit me were overwhelming. I wasn`t just attracted, I was drawn to him. I hadn`t banked on that. I hadn`t had those feelings in years. I also had a chance and I blew it, but what chance was there? All he`d see is a fan, not a person, and I`d get a personal show. I exhaled heavily. So much for that, I thought sadly. I walked out of the arena, and hailed a cab to my hotel, a few stray tears falling. At least I have some time at the spa tomorrow, I thought. After a stiff drink at the hotel lounge, I strode past the front desk and caught the elevator. The doors were about to close, when a hand stopped them. Hi, John said, stepping in. I swallowed hard. Hi. He smiled. Thanks for the gift. You made it, right? I nodded, Yeah. You have one, too… He fingered the choker on my neck. You make this stuff? Once in a while. Well, thank you again. You`re welcome. I wish you would`ve told me who you were. I blinked at that. Yeah, I know you, he nodded, chuckling, a boyish grin appearing. Your letters...you told Vince off in one…man, he wasn`t happy, but you made him think. I didn`t know what to say. Wanna come up, hang out? His voice had become almost intimate. I`d love the company. His smile turned completely sensual now, and his face neared mine. I should decline, I thought, trying to remember to breathe. The idea of being the notch on a man`s belt was sickening, but so was the feeling of denying myself a pleasure I hadn`t had in a while. Uh, sure… He brought his lips down on mine, tentative brushes, and random tastes between my inner and outer lip. The kiss was sweet but deepened as a sigh came from me and I nibbled back. I was lost in sensation; primal curiosity took over as I licked his lips. He needed no more urging to taste me, our tongues mating and dancing deliciously with the elevator`s rise against gravity providing a sensually additional high. I shivered as his lips found my ear and neck, gently nipping me here and there. I trembled, arching as heat snaked through me, resting in the pit of my stomach, spreading my legs instinctively, slightly. Before I knew it, he pinned me against the wall, his hardness against me. He raised my body with ease, holding my legs around him, and I drew a shaky breath, knowing that if we were nude we`d be united. His hardness was now completely cradled by my softness, bringing a small relief but feeding a growing hunger, and I ached, a moan escaping me. He raised me slightly, letting me feel his length, and let me down slowly. I licked my dry lips, the moisture gathering elsewhere as I imagined what he`d feel like…taste like. He began the erotic movement again. His hands slid up my thighs to my hips, rounding and kneading me. His fingers brushed my private parts, and I gasped softly, arching and grabbing his shoulders as I rolled my eyes closed and moaned softly. I barely noticed him stopping the elevator. What? he whispered, pinning our hips against the wall. What, baby? I was trembling. I couldn`t put together a thought. Something inside of me said, Run, you can`t handle this, but something else inside of me said, Go with this, you need this. There was no decision, nothing sound, anyway. All I could do was look into his blue eyes and hope he had an answer for me until I could get my head together. He kissed me again, and nuzzled my neck. Come in my room. I swear, I won`t do anything you don`t want, okay? No sex? Wow, that got out, even though I felt a clash of wills inside me. A slow smile crossed his features as he did a scout`s honor sign. No sex tonight. I could only breathe, nodding once. He opened the elevator door. He had his arm around me as he half carried me inside his room. I`d begun trembling again when I heard the door click closed behind us. It wasn`t fear, but uncertainty and some anticipation. I wasn`t that kind of woman, but at the moment, the primal part of me was taking him in: his broad shoulders, his confident stance, his funny ears (they are funny, but cute), even his voice, which was asking if I wanted a drink. Uh…no. Not a drinker, huh? Not really, no. He smiled, seeming to be amused with me, and this situation he knew I hadn`t bargained on. He sat on the bed, and I took a chair. We talked for awhile, and I began to relax, especially after eating the chocolate pecan turtles I found in the refrigerator. I felt more like I was just hanging out, then. He patted the space next to him. Come here. He chuckled, showing that disabling lopsided smile. I don`t bite. Feeling more confident, I obeyed. He pushed me back on the bed, smiling. Not real hard, anyway. I laughed at him, playfully hitting his chest. He laid on his side, running his finger from the center of my stomach, up my chest and neck behind my ear. He cupped that side of my face and pulled me to him for a kiss. My head was swimming again as I opened my mouth to him. I allowed one of my hands to rake and rub his scalp and neck. He moaned at the pleasure of the feeling, making me want to try more. I sucked on his tongue, and he pushed me onto my back underneath him. My mouth went behind his ear, alternating between teeth and tongue to make him shiver. I began sucking on the skin on his chest, making his muscles twitch. I felt him harden against me, and he helped me shrug out of my coat. Then he unzipped my turtleneck. Partially raising himself off me, he ducked his head and pulled back the fabric with his teeth, caressing my hips with his hands. He nuzzled my bra cup and replaced the covering with licks and kisses. I squirmed, gasping and sighing as I ran a finger over the erection in his pants. His hips reflexively moved toward me though his attentions were elsewhere. Minutes later, he went back on his side again, while kissing me breathless. He brought his hand up my leg, but this time he slipped it inside my pants. The wonder of how he got them undone escaped me as he caressed me. I was already wet, wetter than I thought I was. With every stroke, juices flowed on my thighs, his fingers…I arched to him, relishing the sensation. With a deep breath, he inserted two fingers inside, and I gasped, my eyes opening. No, no, no…it`s not sex. He began stroking my body to soothe me with one hand and wreaked havoc inside me with the other. I whimpered; the ache was lessening… Shh, it`s okay…it`s okay…shh. He kissed me tenderly, almost comfortingly. But then, he built a rhythm that had me twisting and gyrating helplessly. I cried out, climaxing, convulsing around his fingers as I arched uncontrollably. He eased his rhythm, giving me time to breathe. He kissed me soothingly, and began again, except this time, he pulled back to watch more. Some distant part of me was self conscious, but this was instinct, I was helpless. I gasped and moaned again, kissing him wantonly as he worked me. Then finally, I screamed my release. The spell, the ride, was over, and I turned into his body, not sure what was next...I wasn`t thinking at all. I wanted a moment to collect myself, pull myself together. But he wouldn`t allow it. He rained kisses all over my face, and then licked his fingers, the sight stirring my body to awareness again. I wanted to just lie there, but it wasn`t fair to him. His arousal, his hardness, told me that. His body seemed relaxed, but I could feel this part of him strain against me in need. Tired but determined I kissed him wantonly, and realized what he'd done to me had an effect on him. He groaned softly, taking anything I had to give. I decided that he needed more and I wanted it, but I wouldn`t break my own rules, even though I wanted to. I lay on my side, pushing him onto his back, and reached into his pants. He watched my hand, swallowing and moistening his lips in anticipation as I grasped him. He took a deep breath, his head falling back on the pillow as he accepted what was coming to him. He was almost there. I began slowly, as if to get to know him, what he liked. He lifted his hips when I heightened his pleasure, trying to enjoy it more. He called my name softly, and then his breathing completely changed. He moved and breathed in rhythm with my hand, my caresses, a light sheen of sweat breaking out over him as he neared his release. His head pressed back into the pillow, his body racked and flexed with sensual fever until he half growled half moaned, his body arching as mine had done earlier, the relief an explosion in his mind and his body that had only happened to me minutes before. His eyes remained closed as he felt me lick the excess off him and then heard me make use of the tissues next to his bed for my hand. Then I lay next to him, almost shy. He dragged me on top of him, kissing me again, tenderly, playfully. He made me giggle when he noisily kissed me like cartoon characters did. He squeezed me. I nuzzled him. And I didn`t break your rule, he teased softly. No, you didn`t. But rules were broken, we both knew silently. The line between reality and fantasy had just blurred for us both. But we were sleepy now…